Shattered, Then Glued
by AndiTanaka
Summary: The darkness was heavy, it consumed me. And though the journey would be long, I told myself this: Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. SEQUEL TO FALL TO PIECES.
1. Life and Death

Diclaimer: Once again, I still don't have Sailor Moon within my possession... though I will someday (--wields her tube of toothpaste-- hehehehe... ummm... ) Anyways, Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, its genius creator!

Author's note: Well, here it is everyone... the first chappie of the sequel to "Fall to Pieces". I hope you all enjoy it. Just something to point out, though... this isn't going to be your typical fanfic... I'm trying as much as I can to base it on raw human emotion, and things that happen in real life. I hope it goes over well with the readers. Oh, and, of course... READ AND REVIEW!

**Life and Death**

(Mamoru's POV)

I couldn't really tell you what happened during that crucial trip to the hospital. I couldn't tell you what streets I had passed, or how many stoplights were red. All I can recall is that I was deaf, blind, and flying. I drove like a madman. I was solely concentrated on the erratic, shallow breathing of the young woman slumped in the back seat of my car. I willed a breath to follow, and then another… I needed her to hold on. I couldn't tell you what time we arrived at our destination. I just knew that we were there, and that's all that mattered. I ripped the key out of the ignition, tripped over my feet as I exited the vehicle, and finally managed to get to the back seat. Usagi's breathing was coming more slowly now, and this worried me. One question loomed in the back of my mind. Would she die? I finally glanced at my watch, surprised to see that only fifteen minutes had passed since I found Usagi. Wasting no more time, I quickly ran to the hospital doors, as though the hounds of hell were on my tail. In a sense, they were; tragedy and death beckoned, threatening to claim the person I had left, though had needed and loved so desperately. Somehow, it seemed it would only be just… a cruel punishment for a cruel bastard. However, the young slip of a girl in my arms, who's life-blood continued to drip from her in menacing warning, did not deserve to suffer for my mistakes. That is why I had to save her. Every moment was crucial, ever minute gone by was another heartbeat weakened. Pushing these dark thoughts out of my mind, I finally flew through the emergency room doors, and skidded to a halt in front of the nurse's quarters. She was writing something in someone's file.

"If I could kindly ask you to take a number and get in line, you'll have your turn soon," the nurse said in a fatigued and highly annoyed voice. That didn't faze me.

"You see, Miss, I would do that, if it weren't for the fact that my girl…er…friend attempted suicide, and is currently in a position to die. You would know that if you were to look up and address me properly," I spat out, extremely upset at her presumptuous lack of manners. The icy edge in my voice finally caught the nurse's attention, however, and her head snapped up. One quick glance towards Usagi's near-lifeless form appeared to tell her all that she needed to know.

"Shit," she muttered softly, as she leapt to her feet, while pointing to a hospital bed in the hallway.

"Lay her down there, and I'll get a doctor in here right away," she said, as she frantically pressed the intercom button.

"Doctor Takashimaya, please report to trauma stat!" "Doctor Takashimaya, PLEASE report to trauma STAT!"

I was almost limp with relief, though only for a moment. I knew very well that the hardest part of the journey was yet to come. Suddenly, I was surprised to feel the soft touch of a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see the emergency room nurse gazing at me with sympathy. I flinched at the gaze.

"I've gotten her into a doctor's care, and he's brought her for surgery, to repair her severed veins and arteries. She will also be given several transfusions, as she has lost a lot of blood. There's not much else we can do now, except pray," the nurse explained softly, finally averting her pity-filled gaze. I'd been running on an adrenaline-induced autopilot for the last thirty minutes, and the reality of everything was finally sinking in completely. The moment the nurse put her hand on my shoulder, something inside me snapped. Suddenly, I was drowning in tears, collapsing to the nurse's shoulder. I stayed like that until another patient came in.

Hours had passed and still there was no sign of the doctor who was tending to Usagi. I began to fear the worst, as I paced the hallway endlessly, and downing my third cup of coffee in under an hour. My nerves were already shot, but that didn't matter; my body's crave for caffeine was the last shred of sanity that I was able to cling to. Patients and other hospital staff stared at me, as I muttered to myself. I must have looked like quite a spectacle, not that I cared. The life of someone I cared deeply for was hanging in the balance. As I continued to pace, I was hit with the sudden realization that I'd completely forgotten to get in touch with Usagi's family and friends. It had been ages since we'd arrived at the hospital, and Usagi's bathroom still bore the evidence of what had taken place. With this in mind, I quickly approached the nearest telephone. An ill feeling rose from the pit of my stomach, as I prepared to deliver the news to Usagi's parents. I dialed the number, and waited for them to pick up. On the third ring, a woman's voice came on the line. Usagi's mother.

"Hello? Usagi? Is that you?" Ikuko questioned, in a slightly worried voice. I cleared my throat, which was now choked with fear, and I drew in a measured breath.

"Hello, Ikuko-san? This is Chiba Mamoru calling," I replied, in a voice stained by the tears that threatened to fall.

"Mamoru-san? Why are you calling? Do you know where Usagi is?" Ikuko questioned again, obviously confused at why I would call. She also didn't seem as hysterical as I thought she would be. Perhaps they hadn't yet been upstairs, and only knew that Usagi was gone.

"Yes, Ikuko-san. Usagi is…" I hesitated for a moment. "Usagi is at the hospital," I continued quietly, steeling myself for the reaction that was sure to ensue. There was a loud thump, and some scuffling, and then a male voice came on the phone.

"Mamoru, why is our Usagi at the hospital?" Usagi's father demanded.

"Kenji-san, I know you would like to know right now, but I can't bring myself to deliver this kind of news over the phone. I think it would be best if yourself and Ikuko-san came to the hospital immediately," I replied, all the while quaking at Kenji-san's obvious frustration.

"We'll be right there," he state flatly, then hung up. I let out the breath I'd been holding. Dear God, what would the Tsukino family think about this? It would hit them very hard, I knew that much. I could only pray that Usagi pulled through, for everyone's sake. After that phone call, I debated getting in touch with the girls, then decided against it for the moment. Usagi's family would be more than overwhelmed, and deserved some privacy for the time being. I wandered away from the phone, picked up another coffee, and then headed off to meet Usagi's family at the doors.

The Tsukino family arrived at the hospital within minutes. They were already waiting when I arrived in the emergency room. Ikuko ran towards me, worry lines visible on her forehead.

"Where is she? Where is Usagi?" she demanded desperately. Just as I was about to open my mouth to speak, a doctor approached us. His face was grim and serious. My heart clenched at the sight of this, while praying for the best and fearing the worst.

"Chiba-san?" the doctor questioned, as he turned to me.

"Hai. You have news on Usagi's condition?" I replied, hoping to hear that she was fine.

"Hai…I do…but who are these people," the doctor asked, gesturing to Kenji and Ikuko.

"They are Usagi's parents, and are here to find out what happened," I stated simply. Sympathy washed over the doctor's face.

"Oh my… I'm so sorry. I suppose I will explain everything now." The doctor motioned for us to join him in a portioned area of the room. Once he pulled the curtains, he turned back to us.

"This is very difficult to explain, and even more difficult to understand, but it has to be done," the doctor said grimly. He must have felt that Usagi's family would take the news very hard.

"Usagi…for whatever reason…attempted suicide today," the doctor revealed to Usagi's parents, trying to explain as gently as possible. I heard Ikuko gasp audibly, so I glanced over. Kenji was gripping his wife's hand, as tears crept to the corners of her eyes. The doctor sighed in defeat as he continued.

"She slit her wrists quite deeply, and there were other marks along her arms, suggesting that she'd been cutting herself even before today. Naturally, in the process, she managed to sever some veins and arteries; some of them were vital. As a result of this, Usagi lost frightening quantities of blood. We almost lost her a few times. However, by the grace of a miracle from the gods, we were able to save her. She isn't in the clear yet, though, and she has fallen into a comatose state. We do, however, believe that she will pull through."

Relief washed over me repeatedly, as I processed what the doctor had just said. I then stole a glance over to Usagi's parents. Ikuko was drowning in tears, and Kenji was gripping the arms of his chair very tightly.

"What happens now?" Ikuko questioned in a tear-choked whisper.

"Well, self-mutilation is not a light subject…neither is suicide. When Usagi recovers physically, she'll have a long journey ahead of her. There will be many hurdles, and she will need an extensive amount of help. But, with enough love, support, and time, her soul will eventually heal. It will, however, be a difficult path to endure," the doctor replied.

I mulled this over in my head then decided that I would commit myself to helping Usagi recover. She deserved complete happiness, and I would be damned if I let myself, or anyone else, hurt her ever again.


	2. Awaken to Hell

Disclaimer: My classic standard disclaimer -- points to first chapter -- applies to all chapters.

Chapter 2 – Awaken to Hell 

(USAGI'S POV)

Black fog swirled around my head, almost suffocating me completely. I struggled to swim through the darkness, but was instead was assailed by painful images; a cracked locket in the shape of a star came forth from the fog. I reached out to touch it, then recoiled in horror as blood began to seep from the chasms. Then the blackness stopped, and was replaced by blinding lights. I thought I could hear voices somewhere off in the distance. Were they whispering my name? Suddenly, I began to hear more clearly.

"Oh Kenji… I wish she would wake up! I can't believe this is happening. Why didn't I see her unhappiness? How could I have been so blind? Oh, I've failed her as a mother," Ikuko-mama sobbed bitterly into Kenji-papa's shoulder.

"Sshh, darling…it's going to be alright. And you haven't failed at anything. These things happen, and we'll help her through it. Playing the blame game won't help anyone, especially not Usagi," Kenji-papa whispered comfortingly to my mother, as he stroked her hair. I groaned as the volume of voices grew, and the room came more into focus. Apparently my parents heard this involuntary noise, because my mother suddenly snapped her head towards me. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Thank Kami-sama! You're awake," she cried, as fresh tears glistened in her eyes. My father sat wordlessly behind my mother, however, I could tell that he was extremely relieved.

"What happened?" I questioned as I groaned again, more audibly this time. My parents exchanged worried, wordless glances then my mother grasped my hand.

"Usa…don't you remember?" Ikuko-mama questioned, as more tears welled in her eyes.

"Well I…I only remember a lot of blood," I replied, entirely unsure of what I should answer. Ikuko-mama bit her lip, obviously pained, and Kenji-papa tightened his grip on the chair he'd been holding thus far.

"My blood?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. I was fearful of the answer.

"Usagi…you tired to commit suicide last night. But what we don't know is why. Why would you do such a thing to yourself? Your family? And even your friends, for that matter?" Kenji-papa questioned in a strained, but even, voice. It was obvious that he was struggling to come to terms with the recent events, that I was just beginning to recall.

FLASHBACK

I gouged at my wrists with all the force I could muster; I doubled-over in pain, and then just lay there. Blood flowed freely into puddles on the floor.

I looked at my parents squarely in the eye.

"Physical pain is the only way I can ease the emotional pain I feel, and death is the only way I can erase it. It's what I have control over. It's the only choice that I have," I said darkly, feeling awash with fresh pain and emotional torment. My mother gazed at me in anguish, obviously wanting to help, but having no clue as to how she could.

My parents eventually decided to go home. I had become more unresponsive as the night wore on, until I wouldn't even look at anyone. I preferred being alone anyway; no one understood what I was feeling. Pulled away from my musings, I realized that it was raining outside. Clouds hung dark and thick in the air, and all of Tokyo was awash in gloom.

"Well, the weather seems to suit my mood," I thought depressively, then averted my attention from the window. Jus as I was about to sink back against the pillows that were propped on the bed, I heard the scuffling of feet outside my door. I looked up and then gasped at the sight of the man who stood in front of me.

"You," I breathed icily, unable to utter anything more coherent.

(MAMORU'S POV)

The ice in her voice hit me with the force of a mack truck. Never had I seen Usagi harbor such an impetuous loathing of anyone before. Granted, no one had ever batter her heart and emotions the way I had. I deserved every ounce of fury that Usagi felt towards me.

"Yes, it's me," I said, taking a hesitant step forward. I wasn't sure where my boundaries lay.

"Stay where you are," Usagi snapped bitterly, answering my unspoken question.

"Usagi, I…"

"You what, huh?" she quickly cut me off with a raised hand. "You're here to say that you're sorry? That you didn't mean any of it? That you wish you could erase it all? Well, do everyone a favor and save it! I have absolutely no interest in your pathetic attempts to make amends. This isn't like last time Chiba-san; you can't just walk in and out of someone's like as you please!" Finally Usagi finished her rant and turned to face the window. I was surprised, however, that Usagi's voice had remained level and cool as ice through the whole tirade. I somehow would have preferred the yelling and the tears; anything but the calm venom that dripped with every measured word and breath. Usagi turned back to face me, her eyes vacant. There was no emotion on her visibly tired face.

"What are you still doing here?" she questioned blandly, obviously wanting to be rid of me. I wouldn't give up that easily.

"Usagi, please… I just want to talk to you. I want to make sure that you're alright; you gave me quite a scare today." I said desperately. I needed her to hear what I had to say.

"A scare? I gave you a scare? Boy, that's really funny… I was under the impression that you didn't give a flying fuck about me, or anything that concerned me. I mean, you sure as hell made that apparent when you up and left for Harvard Med. If I recall correctly, I was 'holding you back'; a mere thorn in your side that needed to be rid of. Well, guess what? You go your wish… I was removed from your life. Now do me a favor and stay the hell out of mine," Usagi ranted bitterly. I could see tears swimming in her eyes. I mentally cursed myself, as I remembered the promise I'd made to never hurt her again.

"Usagi…I don't just want to waltz back into your life. But I do want to talk about some…" I started, but was once again cut off.

"Get out," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"But…"

"GET OUT!" she screamed this time, and repeated it over and over, like a mantra. Her voice grew shriller each time she said it. Then, she suddenly stopped, glanced at me for a moment, before hurling a pillow at me. It wasn't exactly a prime weapon, but it was enough to tell me that I should leave. I headed quickly towards the door then turned back for a moment. I looked at Usagi with tears and sorrow in my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, before finally leaving the room.

(USAGI'S POV)

I sat back on my remaining pillows for a moment, stunned into shock. I sat there unmoving for a good ten minutes before I realized exactly what had just taken place; the floodgate let loose. I sobbed bitterly for hours, or so it seemed. I couldn't stop myself, as wave upon wave of pain tore at my heart. Then I stopped sobbing just as suddenly as I had begun. I turned and reached for my purse, which was sitting on the bedside table. My parents had brought over a few things for my hospital stay, of which I was extremely relieved. After unzipping the inside of the purse a few times, I reached into the secret compartment I'd sewn into it. Inside this compartment lay a purposely-sharpened nail file, for which I now reached. Pulling the file out, I set my purse aside. Immediately, I began hacking and tearing away at the skin on my arms. Then I began taking longer strokes, relishing the searing pain that coursed through every inch and fiber of my arms. The effects were drugging and controlling. Soon, I was no longer even aware that I was still slicing at my arms. It once again became the routine escape I'd so often used. Suddenly, I was jerked back from my semi-conscious state. Large, red spots of blood on the pristine white sheets glared at me menacingly.

"Shit," I muttered. This was a hospital…the doctors would ask questions. As if on cue, I heard resounding footsteps from down the hallway. Slowly but surely, they became louder as they neared my room. I sat frozen in place, completely unsure of what to do. The footsteps slowed and a doctor entered my room with my parents in tow. The doctor opened his mouth to speak, then stopped as the blatant sight of red on my bed sheets caught his eye.

"Usagi, what is that?" the doctor slowly asked, as he approached the bed.

"I…I…I don't know," I said, fear overtaking my voice. "I woke up just now, and it was there," I whispered. I dared not look at the doctor, who was now standing at my bedside. Silently, the doctor leaned over and pulled my arms from under the blankets. My parents both collectively gasped, and the doctor looked on in worried horror…

Author's note: Bahahahahahahaha…. Yes, a cliffie! I apologize humbly for the shortness of this chapter, but I wanted to get the ball rolling on the main part of the story, which will focus on Usagi's feelings, Mamoru's feelings, and their progression as a couple. It's also not going to be the typical "guy-hurts-girl-they-make-up-passionately-and-live-happily-ever-after" fic. I'm trying to get a little more "real-life" into this particular fic. I hope you all like it.

Oh yes… and I've been extremely disappointed in the lack of review-ed-ness! I'd like to thank all the people who have reviewed already; they've been wonderful. But I'm aiming for more… unless people review, I won't feel the motivation to actually keep up the fics:P so, darn it peoples… READ AND REVIEW, PRETTY PLEASE!


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